The War Inside me, Is an insert from the book, Safety from The Past. The interesting fact is this poem was written years before the book was thought of. God has a plan for everything we do if we can wait on him to reveal his glory. Please enjoy, The War Inside Me.
The War Inside Me
The war that rages inside me demands I wave the white flag and surrender all fortitude self-worth or decency that I may have had.
It demands I surrender all knowledge of my past forcing me to forget I was revered as a king in a far-off desert land.
It holds me as a captive like a refugee in a foreign land barely giving me the necessities of life while forcing me to believe I'm less than a man.
It beats at my soul until I have nothing left and then watches with enjoyment as I breathe my final breath.
Its anger is kindled when I don't give up the ghost and rages into a violent tantrum when I call upon the Lord of host.
I try and have the love of my savior and cry out forgive them for they know not what they do, but how could it torture me so savagely and not have a clue of the pain it's putting me through.
The war inside me has decided my fate. It has condemned me to death for crimes against the state.
There will be no jury I won't get to testify I won't receive council of law just the judgmental lethal injection of mankind.
A concoction of poisons that will slow my heart rate and incapacitate me into a vegetable like state.
The poisons that are used can't be found in a chemist lab, but in the insidious toxins of a world that has truly gone mad.
It will use love against me with the hope that I'll believe that no one could love someone as hideous as me.
It will cause the ones who are supposed to love me and stand by my side to look me in my face and tell a serpents lie, then stab me in the back with the proverbial dagger of my demise.
Its main ingredient will be hatred because of the color of my skin tricking me to into believing I'm inferior to other men.
I'm sure it will add bigotry to force me into being politically correct even though it's acceptance it's like a noose around my neck.
There is more it will add it doesn't want my death to be quick, it wants to make sure I destroyed a whole generation with the trickledown effect.
This war inside me has destroyed many men who have given up the fight and caved from within. But I, I will fight this war inside me it's victory won't be an easy win.
I won't succumb or be brought to an end by the effect of destructive or disruptive forces that I battle with from within. I will fight the good fight; I will fight the good fight for the totality of man.